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Sunday, July 09, 2006

The Sunday Funnies: LR Salutes the New Yorker

These cartoons and more are available for purchase from the New Yorker at They show how the magazine has documented the comedy that is Russia over the years.

The History Lesson

Little Ivan returns home from his first day of school.

"So how was school?" asks his father.

"Fine I guess," said the pupil. "I understood almost everything the teacher said, but we studied world history and I still don't exactly understand how Russia got to be what it is today. Could you explain it to me, Dad?"

"In a way you can understand? Okay. Once upon a time there was a big Russian man. Well, he was actually rather short, and he spent most of his time and got most of his ideas outside of Russia, and his name was 'Lenin.' Actually, originally his name wasn't Lenin, but 'Ulyanov.' But he was so proud of his work that he changed his name. And this Ulyanov had a friend . . . actually he wasn't his friend, he was a scoundrel and his name was 'Stalin.' Well, I did say his name was Stalin, but his name was really 'Dzhugashvili.' So you can see why he might want to change it. And these two friends started the October Revolution. But actually, though, it wasn`t a real revolution, it was a putsch, and took place in November, not October. It took place in St. Petersburg. Well, it took place there, but soon after the putchists, who called themselves revolutionaries, changed the name of the city to Petrograd because they thought 'Petersburg' sounded German, and the Germans were attacking their country at the time. But in fact, it wasn't German, it was Dutch. And then the Lenin putschists killed far more of their countrymen than the Germans ever dreamed of doing, and then to celebrate they renamed the city once again, after Lenin, to show how proud they were of all his actions. Of course, if they had been a little prouder they would have named it after Ulyanov, but they weren't quite that proud and, in point of fact, neither was Lenin himself. And then as time passed they got even less proud, and realized that the Dutch have nothing to do with the Germans, so they changed the name back to St. Petersburg."

Little Vanya shakes his head and says, "Jesus, what a mess!"

"Great!" says his father, "You now understand Russia!"


Anonymous said...

my pee makes more sense den this website

Anonymous said...

I remember to have read this story about te years ago, in the horryble period of "democratic" robbery,anarchy and chaos.
Larussophobe, could you find something more fresh?

Anonymous said...

She can't... pretty soon her true nature will reveal itself when she will starting putting Russopobic nazi posters from WWII...

La Russophobe said...

KARMEN: I think you miss the point, probably because you have a teeny tiny little brain and never actually do anything yourself, but rather only sit around kvetching about what is done by others.

The point is this (and it's the point of this blog too, sorry you missed that as well):

In Russia today, everything old is new again.

Try thinking a little before you spit your empty, meaningless poison (by your logic, Germans should stop talking about Hitler because he's old news, honey).

La Russophobe said...

ANONYMOUS: You'll never understand this because you're such an ANONYMOUS idiot, but if you wanted to prove this joke isn't any good then you would have posted one that was better, for all the world to see and admire.

But you can't do that, can you honey? All you can do is use dirty words like the filthy little boy you are.

La Russophobe said...

ANOMYMOUS #2: Actually, what I might do is put up some document from World War II that show Russia promising to stand by the allies and then selling them out to Germany, facilitating the birth of the concentration camps and killing the Polish soliders at Katyn. If you have any such documents, please pass them through and I'll put them up right away.

La Russophobe said...

ALL: I knew that joke would get to guys like you in a major way, but thanks for confirming it. :)

Anonymous said...

"ALL: I knew that joke would get to guys like you in a major way, but thanks for confirming it. :)"

Everyone, welcome to LR's "retractions, corrections, and appologies."

Twisting things again.... "I knew it, but..."

"then selling them out to Germany"

How did USSR sell its allies to Germany? As far as I know, the whole Eastern front was won by the Soviet Union, with lend-lease assistance. It was Patton driving around in his jeep thinking how he was gonna attack the russkies.....

"facilitating the birth of the concentration camps"

Please ellaborate....
You mean birth of concentration camps in Germany, or Soviet Union, or in general?

"killing the Polish soliders at Katyn"
I believe that both governments of Russia and Soviet Union already issued an appology for it, and even built a memorial.

Anonymous said...

In regards to the first drawing, it has to be noted that the person implicated in the money laundering was a wife of Yukos executive (Menatep company). Yukos is a company that was broken up by the russian government for tax fraud and evasion.

"Menatep was implicated in the diversion of US$4.8 billion in International Monetary Fund funds lent to Russia in 1998: this gave rise to the Kremlingate."

So I guess, the USA likes to defend people who steal from it. That explaing many things like Sadaam Hussein becoming a citizen of Detroit.

The more a country is independent in its financial actions, either for good or for bad, the more american govenment does not like it.

Anonymous said...

LR, are you using images from Cartoonbank with an explicit written persmission or you are breaking copyright?

Just because it is written on the drawing that they come from does not mean that you can post them freely:
"The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of The Cartoon Bank."

You will be getting an e-mail soon....

La Russophobe said...

ANONYMOUS: read our copyright statement before you babble like a total idiot. That's a laugh, an anonymous moron complaining about copyright.

La Russophobe said...

ANOYMOUS: USSR sold out its allies by signing a treaty with Britain and France and then betraying them by making a secret pact with Hitler not to oppose his aggression if it was cut in on the deal. Hitler in turn then betrayed the USSR and attacked it as well. You really ought to read a bit more before you spout off such hysterical Neo-Soviet propaganda.