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Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Sunday Funnies




"Laughing All the Way to the Bank"
*
News was released this week that the world wished to honor a Russian mathematician named Grigory Pearlman for solving an age-old numerical conundrum, yet the eccentric Russian refused the prize, just like in the good old Soviet days. Vladimir Vladimirovichcontinues the story:

One day Vladimir Vladimirovich™ Putin was sitting in his Kremlin office with a furrowed brow and, with furious Presidential™ interest, perusing the Tax Code of the Russian Federation.

"God damn it!" muttered Vladimir Vladimirovich™, rapidly turning over the pages. "Ah, here it is!"

With a practiced hand, Vladimir Vladimirovich™ authoritatively slapped one end of the streamlined handpiece of the Apparatus of Government Connection, which sprang obediently to service.

"Get me Tax Boy Kudrin," he bellowed presidentially into the mouthpiece.

"Just the smallest minute, Vladimir Vladimirovich™," came the pleasant-voiced female reply.

Soon was heard in the Presidential Eardrum™ the voice of Finance Minister Alexei Leonidovich Kudrin. "Yo, goomba!" said Vladimir Vladimirovich™, "I've just been having a quick look at the Tax Code. Very interesting reading. As I understand it, everything is taxable, isn't that right?" said Vladimir Vladimirovich™.

Knowing the Tax Code by heart, Alexei Leonidovich confirmed that under Article 212 all incomes of the taxpayer, obtained by him both in cash any other form or manner, are subject to tax.

"See, I told you so, in any form or manner!" joyfully exclaimed Vladimir Vladimirovich™. "And just where does it say that the income must be realized in order to propagate the pecuniary obligation?"

Alexei Leonidovich was confused and remained silent.

"Well, doesn't it stand to reason that Pearlman is liable for a reward tax?? I mean he can take the money or not, but according to the code a tax is a tax is a tax, as I see it," Vladimir Vladimirovich™ proudly declared.

"Ummm . . ." said Alexei Leonidovich.

"And this gives me an even more brilliant idea!" said Vladimir Vladimirovich™. "What we'll do is, we'll give the right to manage some pot of money, say the stabilization fund, to the first oligarch we can find to take it. And then the next day, we grab him and his fat bank account when he hasn't paid the taxes on the gain! It's a goldmine!"

Alexei Leonidovich said nothing.

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