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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

More Pathetic Russian Failure at the Australian Open

La Russophobe continues to believe that there is a nearly perfect analogy between Russian women's tennis and Russian foreign policy. An illusion has been created (of championship quality and oil potency) which is far removed from reality. If we look past it, we see failure that should not dissuade us from demanding reform and seeking confrontation.

Twenty-six Russian players entered the men's and women's singles draws at the Australian open at the start of last week. Guess how many of them are left to start the second?

Four, the same number as lowly America.

Only eight of Russia's 26-person congtingent were men's singles tournament entries. Of them, only Nikolay Davydenko was left to start the second week at the end of the first.

Of Russia's supposedly "dominant" 18-woman contingent in the ladies' draw, only two members made it to the quarter finals (where they will play each other), namely Maria Sharapova and Anna Chakvetadze -- the least "Russian" of all the women in the group (Sharapova she lives and trains in the United States, as she has done since she was a child, and has never played for the Russian national team; any Russian would identify Chakvetadze as a Georgian by her last name, and probably favor immediate deporatation).

The so-called "dominant" Russian women continued their feeble play against non-Russians, racking up another round of losses against lower-ranked foriegn competition. Not one of the "real" Russians (Slavs who spend significant time in Russia and list it as their home) managed to get to the second week.

In the fourth round of the tournament at the end of Week #1, world #7 Elena Dementieva lost to the lower-ranked Nicole Vaidisova of Czech Republic and world #3 Svetlana Kuznetsova lost to the lower-ranked Shahar Peer of Israel. Both Russians lost in straight sets.

In the third round, world #9 Dinara Safina lost to the lower-ranked Na Li of China while world #5 Nadia Petrova lost to the lower-ranked Serena Williams. Again, both Russians lost in straight sets.

Three Russian women were still alive on Monday Australia time, but the only reason was that the fourth round of the tournament wasn't completed by Sunday. Sharpova only managed to get the second week because she was the only one lucky enough to draw another Russian in the fourth round, the lowly Vera Zvonareva (#22 in the world). As La Russophobe has previously reported, Sharapova barely managed to squeak by her first-round opponent and pathetically blamed the weather for her wretched play. Chakvetadze was the only Russian unlucky enough to draw a higher-ranked player in the fourth round, namely world #8 Patty Schnyder.

Chakvetadeze impressively beat Schnyder in straight sets, and now, amazingly, will play Sharapova in the quarterfinals. Once again, Sharapova (is she the luckiest human being ever born to live???) has the skids greased into the semi-finals with two warm-up matches against Russians, and a Russian is guaranteed a spot in the semis simply due to numbers. And let us repeat: these are the two least Russian "Russians" in the draw that got this far.

La Russophobe has been reporting on this phenomenon for months now, and Russian women's tennis continues to be a perfect analogue for Russia generally and the Putin regime specifically: All illusion of success, no real substance whatsoever -- and when tested, the system collapses.


Unknown said...

If you must insist on writing about Russian tennis babes could you at least show us some photos of Russki devs in skirts?

BTW, since when did folks watch women's tennis for anything other than the visual delights?

La Russophobe said...

I believe some people watch it for the same reason that other people like to hunt sexist pigs.

Carl said...

Do any of the people behind the La Russophobe web site actually played tennis? Why don't you guys challenge a Russian WTA contingent to a team match? I bet even players as terrible as Sharapova (given passport and place of birth we'll lump her with the "Russians") and Myskina would beat the men who publish under the pseudonym "La Russophobe." Think Billie Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs. The Russians could be sponsored by Gazprom and the La Russophobe team by GML and the Jamestown Foundation. Winner takes all.

Frank Hewitt
Moscow, Russia

La Russophobe said...

FRANK: I can whip any five-year-old you might care to name in basketball, but that doesn't mean I'm entitled to be discussed respectfully in the same breath with Michael Jordon. The fact that you choose to compare Russian athletes with the publishers of La Russophobe rather than with professional athletes shows pretty conclusively what failures they are.

Carl said...

JordAn, not Jordon. I think the FSB hacked in and changed the "a" to an "o" to make you look bad. Typical of them.

Carl said...

Just to keep your rhetorical skills sharp, here's a small assignment for the La Russophobe team: In 300 words or less, describe how the failure of the Team USA to capture a gold medal at a major international basketball event since the Sydney Olympics is a "perfect analogue" for the United States generally.

Carl said...

Also, you might consider pressing the WTA for a response about their faulty ranking system that, as of today, has four real Russians and one fraudulent Russian in the top 10. I think we all know where this ranking system was developed. I've got three letters in my head: an "F", an "S", and a "B", in no particular order, of course.

La Russophobe said...

FRANK: There is no analogue. America doesn't have a population losing 1 million every year or an average wage of $300 per month. And the reason it doesn't is because America is capable of real self-criticism, change and improvement, whilst Russia isn't. Americans just repudiated President Bush even though the country is doing well economically, installing the opposition party in power in Congress. In Russia there IS NO opposition party, much less any possibility that Russians will turn power over to it. Instead, they've turned BACKWARDS to be ruled by a failed KGB regime.

Despite that, Americans recognize the serious implications of their basketball failures and are making dramatic efforts to improve. Are Russians admitting that their ladies tennis program is a disaster, or are they claiming to be "dominant" in the wordl? And more important, what their so-called friends, the crazed Russophile set, saying?

By discussing the ratings, you have unwittingly proved my point. The ratings are just like Russia's oil revneues. Russia seems to earn lots of money in oil, to be an "energy superpower," but in fact the income is virtually meaningless because of its huge population and enormous poverty. Russia has highly ranked players, but when they play against foreigners they get their asses kicked almost every single time. Their games are boring and they are not popular with the fans. The have high ratings because they are grinders, appearing at many tournaments and collecting points against feeble opponents. But everyone who follows tennis knows they are boring and their matches are not worth watching, and that is destroying the sport just as Russia's oil revenues are destroying the country.

Fellow Peacekeeper said...

LR, some of us are sexist pigs and proud of it, could we please have at least some skin shots of the offending Russian tennis prosti ... ah, I mean whor .... er, players?

La Russophobe said...

PEACEKEEPER: Actually, as you've mentioned it, I think there is an embarrassing peeper shot of Sharapova out there somewhere which I wouldn't mind posting, I'll see if I can locate it. Also, you may be in interested in the first post about Sharapova that appeared on this blog, it is here:

Or the banana shot

Or topless Anastasia Myskina:

See, we are way ahead of you! We aim to please!

La Russophobe said...

Here you go fellows, feast yoru eyes on tennis champion Maria Sharapova:

And our favorite:

Carl said...

Team LR,

Are you sure "disaster" is the correct word to describe Russian women's tennis? Just off the top of your head, give me your Top 10 women's tennis countries.

guzhevnikov said...

russian women tennis should start up their own league with hotchicks only. eyecandy like shara'popka' shouldn't have to play unendowed counterparts from europe or the u.s. the russian girls would also be available for marriage, lapdances, online chats etc.

La Russophobe said...

FRANK: Yes, we're sure. They're a disgrace to the sport and are killing it. If the sport was comprised solely of Russians, it would go the way of the dodo.

It's kind of silly to speak of "top ten" tennis countries. There are hardly ten countries where tennis is really bigtime. The point is that Russia has never produced a player of true champion quality, having a thrilling multidimensional game, like Henin or Clijsters or the two Martinas or Chrissie or Steffie, and from the looks of things Russia never will.

Russia's best player is somebody who left the country as a child and learned to play in the USA.

We're not saying that Russia doesn't have highly-ranked players. It certainly does, and more top 10 players than any other country. But that doesn't mean it's "dominant" or anything other than a sham, just like having the world's largest oil production doesn't make Russia an energy superpower or anything other than poor and backwards. That's the only point of this post. People vastly overestimate the significance of Russian tennis quality, and they do the same for Russian oil. Both are paper tigers.

La Russophobe said...

GUZHY: Now THERE'S an idea!!!