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Friday, June 15, 2007

Send in the Kwans

A reader brings our attention to the following announcement from the U.S. State Department:

Michelle Kwan [pictured], the first U.S. Department of State American Public Diplomacy Envoy, will depart June 13 for Russia to visit Moscow, Volgograd, and Elista. This is the figure skating champion's second trip as an American Public Diplomacy Envoy under the auspices of the Department's Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs following her highly successful trip to China in January 2007. As an American Public Diplomacy Envoy, Ms. Kwan promotes cross-cultural dialogue with international youth and increases understanding of America by sharing her story and life experiences. Kwan's activities in Russia will help commemorate the 200th anniversary of U.S.-Russia diplomatic relations being celebrated this year, and underscores the importance of sports diplomacy. During her visit to Russia, she will meet with students learning English in an ECA-sponsored English language enhancement program for Russian youth in Kalmykia, connect with aspiring student entrepreneurs working on Junior Achievement projects, and share her experiences with women leaders as well as Russian athletes.

Take that, Russians! Vladimir Putin accuses us of being the new Nazi Germany, announces he's going to violate the CFE treaty, point missiles at Europe, sells submarines to the crazed anti-American maniac Hugo Chavez and now he's in for it! George Bush has invited him to the family compound in Maine for a lobster dinner where he'll have to listen to Bush Sr. drone on about how to catch the big ones (and worry all night about being vomited on) and sends in the A-team to spell out our diplomatic position in no uncertain terms with intimidating use of words like "double sow kow" and "triple axle." Them Rooskies must already be shaking in their shoes! La Russophobe doesn't dare to wonder how far we might be prepared to go in the event Russia actually fires missiles at Europe . . . did somebody say Tanya Harding? Thank goodness our president understands Russia so well!


Anonymous said...

Didn't Boris Yeltsin threaten war against the West if NATO attacked Serbia or invaded Kosovo? I seem to remember the exact quote was: "Don't push us towards military action. Otherwise there will be a European war for sure and quite possibly a world war." Putin's outburst, like Yeltsin's before him, is more a fit of impotent rage than any meaningful threat. You should deal with it in the same way that one deals with a petulent child.

La Russophobe said...

You mean spank him?

Russians should also treat Putin like Yeltsin, with single-digit public approval ratings and historical ignominy. Pity they don't take your advice!