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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Annals of Russian Insanity

In the perpetuation of stereotypes, PRNewswire reports:

Russian Standard, the number one premium vodka in Russia, has been named the "Official Vodka" of the Embassy of the Russian Federation to the United States. As the Russian Embassy's exclusive vodkas, Russian Standard's IMPERIA and Russian Standard Original vodkas will be served at major embassy events. This new partnership will be announced today, on the occasion of Russian National Day, during an official state dinner of the Russian Embassy in Washington D.C. Ambassador of the Russian Federation to the U.S., Yuri Ushakov, will host the event. In addition to Russia's #1 premium vodka, the event will feature traditional Russian fare and entertainment, and an exhibition of Russian icons, drawn from the Museum of Russian Icons in Clinton, Massachusetts. Roustam Tariko, founder of Russian Standard, said, "It is our privilege to be the official vodka of the Russian embassy in Washington D.C., and to represent our country as a truly authentic Russian product and brand." Tariko continued, "Russia is making great strides in sharing its culture and heritage with the world, and we are proud to bring the #1 premium vodka from the home of vodka to America."

What's next, the official cigarette? Not one to miss an opportunity, the company immediately sought to cash in on state approval:

Russian Standard, the number one premium vodka company in Russia, today announced the launch of its “Pure Russian” advertising campaign for its premium brand, Russian Standard Original. The campaign coincides with the national U.S. launch of Russia’s #1 premium vodka.

The strategy for the campaign is to distinguish Russian Standard Original from other brands sold in the U.S. market that only claim Russian authenticity. Russian Standard Original is made in Russia with Russian ingredients, distilled in Russia, bottled in Russia, sold in Russia and #1 in Russia. Other than Russian Standard’s luxury brand IMPERIA, no other vodka sold in the U.S. market can claim this level of Russian authenticity.


David Essel said...

This sounds pretty kosher to me.

Would it be possible for the world to be given an assurance that no non-ethnic Russians were involved in the manufacture of this product, thus guaranteeing even greater purity? (This may present some problems in view of the founder's name.)

It would also help if an Orthodox priest were on hand to verify that all purity procedures are strictly adhered to. Orthodox bishops are happy to splosh holy water on new tanks being taken into line by the Russian army so I don't see the ROC having any great moral problems with this.

elmer said...


Oily Mother Russia Orthodox priests, in their bearded wizard outfits, are happy to splosh water on anything and anyone one.

All you have to do is look at the Channel 4 British video, Death of a Nation, which LR has posted previously.

The Russia Orthodox bearded wizard sploshes holy water on a drunken Russian cossack who terrorizes journalists and Turks in Krasnodar, for the Greater Glory of God and Oily Mother Orthodox Russia.

And the Russia Orthodox wizards happily accept churches from an oligarch - who then proceeds to use the local anti-terrorist squads to attack a local village to take the property away from the villagers for the benefit of the oligarch.

All very pure, holy, and "Russian Orthodox Christian."

What do you expect from people who made a saint, literally, out of a murdering tsar?

And who have no Christmas carols?