Dear Mr. Solzhenitsyn,
We'll make this brief because you're half-senile and probably have a very short attention span, especially where irritating foreigners like us are concerned. You're one of the world's greatest living writers and in your youth you were one of Russia's greatest patriots. But in your advanced years you've become a non-entity, and in fact some of your actions could be construed by history as helping to recreate the Soviet state that you struggled against so heroically in your youth.
You're an old man, and you'll be dead soon. Your time to correct the record is running out fast. We've just learned that you're about to receive one of Russia's highest honors from the Kremlin, the State Prize in Humanities. Don't miss this chance, sir, it might be your last. Set the record straight. Use whatever influence you have to stand up to the rise of dicatorship in Russia, with your brilliant mastery of words just as you did in Soviet times, so that you can pass into history with your honor clean. Look around you and open your eyes, and then give the Mother of All Acceptance Speeches.
Your country still needs you. The judgment of history will be sure and severe if you fail to meet that need. We suggest you screen the British film "Bridge on the River Kwai" and check on the expression on Alex Guiness's face when he suddenly realizes he's been helping the Japanese to win World War II. Do you really want to leave this world with that look on your face?