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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Dear, dear eXile!

La Russophobe is proudly awaiting the day, several weeks hence, when she records the 100,000th page view at this blog (we're now at 90,000). A "page view" is not the same as a visit, one visit can generate more than one page view depending on the interest level of the visitor, so it's a more general indication of how the blog is being received by its audience. But it's still a really big number for a little specialist blog like this, and it's going to come before we're even one year old. Readers should be just as pleased as LR, since they are responsible for the number as much as LR is. When this day arrives, it'll be the biggest milestone in the history of this blog to date, so naturally we are on pins and needles. Perhaps it's because any hopeful sign where Russia is concerned, in the midst of so very much darkness, is so valuable.

Thankfully, the charming fellows over at the eXile tabloid have stepped in to fill the void, providing us with yet another milestone to tide us over whilst we patiently wait for the big one to arrive, like little kids waiting for Santa Claus (it's as if there were a National Enquirer in America written in Russian by Russians; here's how the earthshaking lead item in the most recent issue begins: "For years Moscow has been known as the cultural Cheese Capital of Eastern Europe, a hotbed of sh**ty disco pop music and style so shamelessly lame that it made Milan or the Castro District seem like grimy punk zones by comparison." Heavy stuff there, heavy.) . They've said they don't like us! In fact, they've devoted a whole article to a typically scatalogical personal attack on us! There really couldn't be any more convincing proof of what we've achieved in the short amount of time we've existed so far than the eXile's disapproval, so we humbly thank them for it. We're very proud to be now keeping company with other vile villains hated by the eXile, such as the Moscow Times and Yevgenia Albats. And the free publicity can't hurt either (yup, we can hardly believe that all nine of the eXile's readers have now been clued in to our existence! is that cool or what? we're looking to see a major surge in visitation over the next few days).

To thank the (very little) boys over at the eXile for their charming and most welcome recognition, we've consulted a journalism professor and are pleased to offer them a series of free lessons in the finer points of their craft, which will hopefully lead to even more brilliant success for them in the future, maybe even Russia's version of the Pulitzer Prize (if such there be).

To wit:

1. Interviews

We know it probably sounds like a bizarre notion to the boys, but when you want to know about somebody (David Johnson and Kim Zigfeld are mentioned in the eXile's screed by name), our professor says one of the first things an actual journalist will do is speak to them. If, for instance, the eXile had interviewed David Johnson before going to print, they'd have found out that, far from being the recipient of "crazed" letters from Ms. Zigfeld, he recently wrote to her and asked permission to run our translation of the Novaya Gazeta piece "Spare Organs," which she was happy to grant. Ms. Zigfeld herself has never received any inquiry from the eXile about, well, anything. Maybe they'll try this technique one day, a whole new world might open up for them! For instance, instead of asking readers "Who is this freakish ghoul who haunts the blog world with her Russophobia, and what is his/her/their purpose?" they could have asked us, and then they could have printed the answer. Journalism at this sophisticated level is really amazing, isn't it?

2. Sources

Often times, the professor says, it's considered a good idea to check out one's sources of information before going to press. The mention by the eXile of the name "Oliver Bronsen" is a sure tipoff that information has been fed by them by the wacko Russophile pair of Kiril Pankratov and Mike Averko. Relying on these keystone cops for information is like relying on Vladimir Putin for the milk of human kindness. Perhaps not such a good idea, especially not when making statements about "one of those psychos who writes obsessive letters to their local newspaper complaining about 'big government.'" Those who have read LR's post about Mr. Averko will understand why (that's quite a large number, as you will see if you Google Mr. Averko's name). Little wonder the eXile chose not to name their sources, but the professor says that conscientious journalists frown on the use of anonymity in such cases. It's the sure tipoff of quackery.

3. Consistency

According to the professor, one of the most important features of journalism, and the single most important feature of editing, is consistency. If, for instance, you at one point say "La Russophobe is an NGO project run by an angry, fat-assed Anglo/American chick who hates Sharapova" and you then post the picture at left, well, people are bound to be confused. Even by anorexic standards, that ass isn't fat. And if you then go on to say that Ms. Zigfeld is actually a guy named Oliver Bronsen, your readers are bound to drift away to . . . oh . . . let's just say the Moscow Times. Also, you might then notice that it's just a bit odd to refer to the source of your story about LR anonymously as "a reader" and to publish the story itself without a byline whilst simultaneously screeching about how odd it is that LR might be anonymous. You might notice that if you say you're about to list "two theories" and then list (a) and (b) and (c), that's not actually two. Likewise, it might have occurred to somebody that expressing hatred of all things La Russophobe (to say nothing of all things George Bush and, indeed, all things America) while attacking LR for expressing hatred of all things Russian is bound to be a bit confusing for many. And lastly, you might realize that if you pontificate about LR being obsessed with attention and then give her some, you're kind of undermining your own theory (or at least showing a pretty childish lack of self control -- then again, maybe that's a point of pride over at the eXile).

4. Conflict of interest

Granted, journalistic ethics is an advanced topic, and it's probably way too early to mention it. But we can dream, can't we? If you're going to write a critique of somebody (let's say something thoughtful and reasonable like: "La Russophobe is a compulsively unironic, humorless hate blog, with said hatred directed at All Things Russian. Sort of like one of those psychos who writes obsessive letters to their local newspaper complaining about 'big government.'"), the professor says, it's considered standard operating procedure to disclose the fact that the person has previously written such things about you. You know, as La Russophobe did five months ago about eXile editor Mark Ames. The same thing holds true for the rather sharp attacks LR has launched against the eXile's sources, Averko and Pankratov. What's more, in the blogosphere it's considered basic to post a link to those comments, so readers can see them for themselves. This not only follows good ethics, but it avoids the appearance that you're scared of what was said about you and don't want anybody to read it. LR must say she was a bit disappointed, but not surprised, that the eXile didn't do so.

5. Research

Last, but certainly not least, the professor points out the many benefits of actually doing research, instead of just blowing smoke out of your butt, which is amusing for a while but gets old pretty fast. If, for instance, the eXile had done any research about this blog they would have learned. just for instance, that:

  • Far from being "obsessed" with Maria Sharapova as they claim, only 25 posts out of 1,250 that have been published so far over the course of ten months had Maria as a topic. In other words, 98% of our posts are not about Sharapova, only 2% are. Given that she's the most famous Russian in the world (and the wealthiest female athlete of any nation), we hardly think that's overkill. Now, we understand that the little horny boys over at the eXile are annoyed that we've dared to mess with their wet dreams (they refer to Maria as "tennis-babe" in the article), but come on guys. There's lots of fish in the sea! And anyway, Russia is full of cheap prostitutes and vodka to ply them with.
  • Maybe it's not such a good idea to say "just about every non-cash-earning blog is totally f**ked up." They might have found out, you see, that La Russophobe has more links from blogs and more traffic than any "cash-earning" Russia blog of its kind in existence. A little more research might have revealed that a "non-cash-earning" educational/political blog can make freer use of source material than can one which operates for revenue. Still more research might have led to the realization of how many people feel using profanity isn't really very impressive. In fact, often, quite the opposite. Especially when you follow it up with childish and incomprehensible analogies like "a Scooby Doo situation." Plus which, no matter how jaded and cynical you might be, is it really such a good idea to trash volunteerism, particularly in a country like Russia where 1 million people are lost from the population every year? Is even the eXile capable of being THAT evil? Maybe. Maybe they revile Gandhi because he didn't keep on being a tax lawyer and raking in the big bucks. Perhaps they're just that sick. But if so, it's rather odd that they spend so much time screeching about the establishment and the Bush adminstration, isn't it?
  • Probably could have done better than to say that LR "hates all things Russian." After all, everybody within earshot knows how much LR loves Anna Politkovskaya, Yulia Yusupova, Yevgenia Albats, Marina Litvinovich and Svetlana Gannushkina -- to say nothing of Stanislav Dmitreivsky. They're about as Russian as you can get! The tribute in our sidebar and our special piece on Publius Pundit clearly show our awestruck admiration for them, and many other Russians who struggle to stop the rise of the neo-Soviet Union in Russia. This blog was created for one purpose: to support them!
We hope this little lesson has been valuable to our friends over at the eXile and look forward to lots more free publicity from them in the future.

And here's a little personal advice, just because we're feeling so good.

Dear eXile,

Guys, if you really wanted to "get" us, you would have praised us to the sky. Had you done so, we would have (a) felt a bit guilty about trashing you as incompetent loons who crashed and burned in America and then went to the one place in the world where you could actually feel superior and started pimping Russian women to foreigners for profit as mail-order brides under the guise of "journalism" and we would have (b) had to reevaluate our whole existence, since your approval would be the same as getting a letter from a hero like Yulia Latynina saying we suck. So, as far as can be seen, you accomplished the exact opposite of your purpose. That is unless you actually do like us, and know how we think, and wanted to throw us a bone. But since we don't want you to like us, we prefer to think you're not remotely close to being that clever.

Love and Kisses,

La Russophobe


James Kimer said...

Journalistic ethics aside, somebody might want to remind eXile that it is in fact 2007 now, not 2006, as the article is dated. I thought I was reading something from last year.

The funny thing is, LR, that when you set out to bring these guys to their knees, you'll find out that they are already there.

Are you currently taking cartoon submissions of Averko and Ames giving VP a lap dance at Violete?

La Russophobe said...

Hi James,

In a word: Yes!!

Unknown said...

...... Also, you might then notice that it's just a bit odd to refer to the source of your story about LR anonymously as "a reader" whilst simultaneously screeching about how odd it is that LR might be anonymous....

It was I who wrote to the eXile. Here's my email to them,

"There's a big juicy story concerning the newest Russian blogging phenomenon -

There's all sorts of theories about who this blogger might be, male or female? The name Kim keeps popping-up.

His/her blog posts and super ad hominem attacks on anyone or any publication which takes even a slightly positive stance on Russia are wonderful in their over-the-top outrageousness. La Russophone is both feared and loathed throughout the Western blogosphere and media scene.

You guys are just the folks to do an investigative piece on La Russophobe.

Who is the masked blogger?
Who's behind La Russophobe?
What's the back story?
Etc, etc

Have fun, I look forward to watching you guys work your 'magic.'"

So I ask you, who are you? What's the back story with La Russophobe. Inquiring minds are dying to know.

Warmest and schez leva, Tim

Anonymous said...

Hm, 100.000 page views? In total? Not much. I have more than that a month.

Anyway, who are you? Now I'm curious. Why don't you post your name? Afraid to get poisoned by the FSB for being overly critical (which is none-sense). Well, I am sure FSB already knows who you are (tracking your IP and so on), but you don't mean nothing to them (especially not with 100 000 page views).

And about Exile... why do you take Ames and his crew serious? They don't take themselves serious. I think you overreacted with your page long answer.

Anyway keep on blogging, but let us know who you are so you can establish a bit more credebility. Maybe your pageviews go up then as well :-)

Irishman said...

I read with laughter your long, droning, boring...sorry, had to wake up there-piece on the eXile article. First things first. You're western, I daresay. Understand something about Russians -THEY HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER GIVE A SINGLE FUCK WAHT WESTERNERS SAY ABOUT HOW THE COUNTRY IS RUN. This is a fundamental of any Russia-watcher's understanding of the country. Your blog is in its entirety a waste of time. You will not change a thing. Ever. Unlike you, the eXile have understood this from day one. Unlike you, boring all of us westerners who actually live in Russia and are fluent in Russian, the eXile informs and entertains, a rarity especially in the west. Its called ''satire''. Unless I'm mistaken, its a form of humour that people living in North America are unfamiliar with. They prefer high-end stuff like 'Will and Grace' or the really academic end like 'Frasier'. The eXile does not moan, pontificate or tell the Russians how to do their business. It certainly complains, in humourous tones, about the daily difficulties of living here that affect both Russians and Westerners. It also correctly has a go at both western and Russian hypocracy and injustice. But what it does not do is offend Russia or Russians for the sake of it -unlike your miserable, wank-fest of a website. Or blog, whatever, I'm not a techno geek. The comment ''And anyway, Russia is full of cheap prostitutes and vodka to ply them with.''shows that the eXile is right -you have no interest other than to insult and offend the country. Such a statement on a site allegedly dedicated to serious discussion is simply shocking. Whilst we're on the subject of whores, you sound madame(more likely madmoiselle) that you need a good lay and to give the Rus-bashing a break. But I'm getting off the point. The eXile has for a long time now been a huge source of entertainment for both westerners and Russians(I know many Russians who read it) written by people knowledgeable of the country who have been there many years. Also, you should know that whilst quite attractive, around 1,500,000 women much better looking than Maria Sharapova currently reside in the greater Moscow area and that whilst she might inspire wet dreams back home(maybe your professor has had a, you know...wank?), she's an afterthought here in Russia. Now to your ass. Be aware of something, that arse, by Russian standards, is awful. Its all a matter of scale really. As we'd say at home that arse is 'shaped like a bag of spanners'. Here in Moskva, capital of all the Russian empire, arses are, well...smaller than in the west. Having a lumpy, mishappen arse hasnt kind of caught on here yet. Russian girls tend not too eat more than they actually should. Its not healthy. As Mark Ames can no doubt testify, when you slowly remove the thong from a Moskvichka to reveal a nice, small, round, slighly tanned russkaya popka just once, its hard to go back to the fat, hairy, white butts we have in the west. Hence the difference in standards.

I couldnt be arsed writing more, but I'm going to refer your miserable shite-fest of a website to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Smolensk Square. Its one thing having a go, its another to make offensive comments for no good reason and, if you know Russia as well as you'll be aware that publicly insulting the Russian Federation is in fact an offence punishable by refusal to grant visas to the offender. Hopefully you're already here and they'll lock you up in Lefortovo. Or better still, Kresty in St Petersburg, to get your sorry big arse out of our city. Sadly though, i'd say MID just couldnt be arsed...cos, guess what, the Russians just do not care what you say anyway.

Ger O'Brien,
Tsvetnoi Bulvar,

ps 'MID' is Ministverstvo Innostranikh Dyel, for those of you twats kto ne govorit' po-russki.

pps by the way I didnt crash and burn in Ireland, the USA or anywhere. I just happen to earn a good money here working and love the country, difficult though it is to live in at times, and I dont need to pay for sex. Though it is tempting sometimes...ah,those cute Russian arses!


Alex said...

Well, I went off the Exile just after Ames's epically cuntish "Anne Applebaum didn't oppose the war with Iraq, so that makes it OK to murder Anna Politkovskaya" piece.

Over time, their act is slipping from "[enter sovok here] is behaving only as badly as other politicians sometimes do, because their interests and incentives lead them to do so" cynicism towards "writing what [enter sovok here] would like us to write - that's cynical realism, innit?".

And the misogynist crap gets tiresome, too. Even War Nerd's repeating himself.

nopsam said...

[Ger wrote]"Sadly though, i'd say MID just couldnt be arsed...cos, guess what, the Russians just do not care what you say anyway."

Agreed. Neither 'MID' nor 'FSB' nor the *normal* (i.e. average) Russian really care about what someone types on a blog. But unfortunately there are also people you aren't *normal*. Call them ulta-nationalists, rightwingers, idiots, hooligans or whatever with an Internet connection and a possibility to read this blog. Not that Kim, or whoever is beind 'La Russophobe', would be in immediate danger BUT the next innocent anglophone tourist or visitor to Moscow might be, when running into a bunch of these fools who then might feel obliged to 'retaliate'.

I would feel extremely sorry for any innocent person having to suffer from the hatred some irresponsible blogger produces by the careless and sometimes insolent hatespeech published on his / her blog.

La Russophobe said...

TIM: The time to ask was before you sent your e-mail, not after. Maybe I'll consider telling you my backstory when the eXile publishes yours, including your home address and telephone number. OK, sweetie? I'm curious, did the eXile withhold your name at your request, because you have something to be ashamed of, or did they decide on their own that they didn't want to rely on you by name? And don't you find it just a bit hypocritical for the eXile to criticize my alleged anonymity in an article with no byline using an anonymous source? Have you already written to them to point out that hypocrisy?

La Russophobe said...

CYGEN: About visits: (a) You have five blogger profile views, I have 3,000. (b) If you are claiming to be Two-Zero and not lying, your blog is not about politics and therefore not comparable to this one. Thousands of porn sites have way more visits than this blog, but I couldn't care less. (c) You might link to your data about views if you want to lecture about crediblity. If you know of an English-language blog about politics that has way more than 100,000 page views and has existed for 10 months, please tell me. Otherwise, your observation is baseless and pointless.

Did "Primary Colors" lack credibility because the author was anonymous? Did "Huckelberry Finn" lack credibility because the author used a pen name? If so, I'm happy to be in their company. Are you saying that if I revealed I was a housewife from Spokane that would increase my credibility? Perhaps you're mistaken.

My enemies said exactly the same thing about me when I had 10 page views as when I have 90,000, and they will say the same thing when I have 9 million. It's not my goal to satisfy the concerns of my enemies (and hence the enemies of Russia) and I have no intention of trying to do so.

La Russophobe said...

I must say it's really quite comforting to see that the Russophile wackos can't even begin to question the substance of my reporting, and therefore are reduced to attacking me personally and complaining about my alleged anonymity. Tim writes to the eXile to complain about my alleged ad hominem attacks, so they launch one against me! I guess that's just fine with Tim. And the essence of the attack appears to be that I'm mentally ill and should be packed off to a rubber room. How neo-Soviet can you get?

Unknown said...

There is one thing that sets eXile apart from you: they are a real thought-provoking, wave & ripple making publication, run by people who CAN WRITE!

While the paper-chew taste of your blog takes the "I'm-a play a professor with them pesky little boys" approach, eXile gets tens of thousands of people laughing, thinking, and enjoying every last word of their crispy prose.

Try doing more with your life than teaching people the difference between numbers two and three.

PS: Cheap prostitutes? Who are you kidding!!

La Russophobe said...


Tens of thousands? Prove it. Maybe lots of people laugh about KKK jokes regarding the lynching of black people. Hitler got tens of thousands marching and building concentration camps. Do you also find that impressive? Van Gogh sold only two paintings in his lifetime. Does that make him a loser in your warped view?

You don't believe Russia has cheap prostitutes? You should read LR more carefully, then you'd be less ignorant. As we've already reported, here's a nubile young lady who's available at the bargain price of $75 per hour:

If you choose to consume shoddy journalism bereft of ethics or meaning but full childish scatology and little boys playing with bad words, you are free to do so. In that case, you will certainly have no use for this blog.

Garufo said...

$75? You're being ripped off dude!!

Unknown said...

La Russophobe said...

TIM: The time to ask was before you sent your e-mail, not after. Maybe I'll consider telling you my backstory when the eXile publishes yours, including your home address and telephone number. OK, sweetie? I'm curious, did the eXile withhold your name at your request, because you have something to be ashamed of, or did they decide on their own that they didn't want to rely on you by name? And don't you find it just a bit hypocritical for the eXile to criticize my alleged anonymity in an article with no byline using an anonymous source? Have you already written to them to point out that hypocrisy?

1. Why does the timing of my question to you matter? Certainly, you are not offended that I sent an email to the exile? That doesn’t seem like the La Russophobe I know and love. Why so sensitive?

2. There’s no need to tell my backstory, I’m not writing anonymously. Check-out my blog or (remont). My telephone number is 781-551-5511 and I live in Boston, MA. Blogging is about self-expression.

I showed you mine, now won’t you show me yours?

3. Thank you, sweetie. No, I simply sent the email to the general email address listed on the eXile website. It wasn’t written as a Letter to the Editorial intended for publication. My name is on my email. You will have to ask them on the particulars. I don’t think they not printing my name has much to do with anything.

Yes, I've done things I am ashamed of but that has nothing to do with you remaining anonymous.

4. The exile hypocritical? Shirley you jest!! (You DO have a sense of humor :) The exile is proudly hypocritical and not afraid to admit it. No, I haven’t written to the exile to tell them they are hypocritical. They don’t care.

This “no byline” mention by you is curious. LaR does not have bylines nor does The Economist. There’s a clue is this observation.

5. Are you homophobic? You wrote on 01/31/2007 in reference to Luzhkov’s thoughtless comments, “Maybe you (us the readers) don't care for homosexuals. But even if you don't, you probably don't feel the need to condemn them to hell as long as they leave you alone, right?...”

Isn’t the expression “…. As long as they leave you alone, right?” code words for “I really don’t approve of homosexuality but I don’t want to say so publicly”?

Have you had “problems” with homosexuals? Take it as a compliment (hell, it's hard enough to get half the world to think you're attractive) and say, “No thank you.” Not that big of a deal.

6. Do you have a day job because your blog is amazingly well produced. I’m being serious. I am very envious that Blogger enables you to write text using different colors. My blog in just black. If I can figure it out I will copy, with your permission of course, your practice of color coding blog posts. Very cool. Haven't seen that done before.

7. Do you have any affiliation with the Bell Pottinger Communications Agency? Whilst your IP address is supposedly originating from Connecticut, others surmise that you (perhaps plural) may be employed the above-mentioned PR agency. That would certainly explain a lot. If true, I would think that coming out of the closet and taking proper credit for your wonderful blog would do wonders for client acquisition.

Remember what happened to Edelman and their fake blogs.

8. Identity Clue: You care passionately about your blog's performance metrics. This implies to me, at least, that you are need to show the blog’s effectiveness to someone. Perhaps a client? This would fit it nicely with the Bell Pottinger theory.

9. So, you still haven’t told us who or what you are. Even if you insist on not revealing yourself, at least tell us why you won’t reveal your name?

10. You may have been right about Sharapova : )

Unknown said...


Prove it? You mean you need an analytical report with charts, graphs, references, and bylines? Would you then count all of commas and go on a three page barrage about an ambiguity of logic implicated in a one sentence statement if it is stared at for two and a half hours straight while your chamomile tea is going cold? Nah. Have to say though, while the eXile is not quite at the level of the Third Reich in popularity, they getting there. Ha-ha.

Now, thanks for telling me that I should read the LR for finding cheap prostitutes in Russia. However I already have sources I can trust:,, to name a few (the latter is an NGO that does not accept contributions). BTW, do you really think that $75 is cheap for a truck-stop level of service??

And I do have use for your blog: it's good for ass-scratching! Can I say "ass"? It's not too shoddy? Not too big? Hope not.


La Russophobe said...

ENDORPHIN: Thanks for confirming that you have no evidence to back up your completely ridiculous claims.

Unknown said...


Curiosity got the best of me, so I followed the cheap whore ad link in your blog that you provided oh-so-graciously for all of us benevolent readers.

First off: this is a "so young and inviting" bait advert for a Caucasian-run bordello, which in reality is an aging sewer meat street market stand. Trust me people: you will NEVER see the girl in the picture if you hit the place up (if it hasn’t been busted up yet, that is).

Second: to leave out the fact that your translation is inaccurate (I read Russian well!), when was the last time you checked the dump that the dollar exchange rate is in? 4500 rubles (for two hours) is close to $170. Time with a girl from this bordello (not the girl in the picture!) will cost you one hundred and seventy dollars! If you wanna spend a night there, make sure to bring close to $350 with you. There is no mention there of a one-hour rate at all as you have misleadingly stated throughout.

With this, in my eyes, any shroud of credibility you ever hoped to cling on to, after that horse***t article, is shattered beyond repair! I'd say it's prime time for you to start thinking about the necessity of updating your resume. I'm quite sure bigger cannons are yet to come.


La Russophobe said...

TIM: I'm not offended, I'm absolutely delighted by the eXile piece. However, your hypocrisy I do find rather annoying. I don't attack others for being anonymous while engaging in anomymity myself. If you choose to, that's your affair, but don't expect my respect or attention, much less to be able to influence the content of my blog.

Unknown said...

La Russophobe:

I apologise if you have not yet had the chance to have your morning coffee but your usually lucid and precise prose is surprisingly absent in your most recent comment to me.

1. Cool. I am not surprised. The eXile piece should provide a big bump in your uniques and page views. Glad I could play a small role in it.

2. I am a hypocrite? This is where you surprise me. I may be many things but a hypocrite I dare say I am not.

3. Please don't be annoyed, it's not so good for your health. Have some coffee and a bolatchka smoockim and I am sure it wall pass.

4. You wrote, "I don't attack others for being anonymous while engaging in anomymity (sic) myself." Again, pray tell, go get that cup of coffee you NEVER misspell stuff. (FYI- the Firefox browser has a built-in spell checker. It's saved me lots of times)

Anyhow, what the heck are you talking about? I am not "attacking" you, I am simply trying to understand the context of your blog because what you write is so unusual, unique, and often edifying that I wold like to know who you guys are. Is that too much to ask?

5. Now, La Russophobe, regarding me being "... able to influence the content of (your) blog" we are deep in the recesses of an old post and there's probably only three of us here still reading it. Thank you for the flattery but I have no illusions.

6. Respect and attention, huh? I will let you know when I actually know who you guys are.

7. What do you think of the new Blogger (used to be called beta). The sidebar functionality with widgets is pretty cool. Go and check-out Tim Spalding's One can easily create a library (he uses the Amazon API) and then one can create a web widget which will display one's library in their blog sidebar. It's an excellent way to show which Russian books you recommend.

8. If "you" are a PR agency, you are an excellent one. If you got Scott Borris as an "agent" you might be able to play your current client off the possibility of doing some PR for the Kremlin. After all, it doesn't "feel" like your heart is really so cold and filled with such latent anger.

9. I'll take a grande misto with one Splenda and a couple ice cubes when you're headed to Starbucks. I'll get tomorrow's coffee.

10. You have Starbucks in the UK, right?

Unknown said...

Point of Note:

Those mistakes in my most recent comment to you are not misspelling but rather, typos. It's a distinction WITH importance.

Blogs are supposed to be informal streams of consciousness types of and therefore, typos add authenticity while misspellings can lead to confusion.

Didn't want you going off on an angry tangent about my typos.

Let's stay on message (PR-speak).

La Russophobe said...


Our translator has the following comments about your statments concerning the Russian langauge:

"ps 'MID' is Ministverstvo Innostranikh Dyel, for those of you twats kto ne govorit' po-russki."

As it turns out, all three words of the MID's name were misspelled or

Somewhat more telling, in the last phrase, the word "govorit" should have no soft sign at the end. As it is spelled above, it would sound to the Russian ear as, "... who do not to speak Russian." If that is how the reader speaks Russian, maybe that explains why he feels he must kiss so much Russian ass so that they'll keep talking to him.

So, out of seven words he attempted to transliterate or translate from or into Russian, he got four wrong. And he is calling other people foul names for their possible inadequacies in Russian? I should call his Russian teacher and have her wash his mouth out with soap... then drill him for four hours on the proper use of the infinitive.

La Russophobe said...


As for LR's own comments --

The fact that you think Russia offers "good money" is clear proof of just how blazingly you crashed and burned, probably from birth. Russia is a fundmentally corrupt society, your "good money" issues from a Kremlin ruled over by proud KGB spies who are destroying the nation while you profit. A person who can't make more money in American than in Russia is the ultimate loser.

As for your comment about his blog, if you in your drug-induced fantasies think your most was a model of the interesting and insightful, you're a perfect person to edit the eXile.

PS: Methinks you dost protest TOO much.

Unknown said...

Don't even bother trying to compete with the Exile -- they are way beyond your intellectual level. And unlike you, they have a sense of humor. A good portion of your "visitors" are probably Exile fans like myself.

La Russophobe said...


We find your comments a bit hard to understand. Our visitation hasn't increased significantly since the eXile story ran, because almost nobody reads the eXile or even knows it exists.

But if eXile readers DO frequent this blog, doesn't that mean it must be wonderful, if they are so great?

You also seem to fail to understand the context here. The eXile mentioned THIS BLOG, we didn't mention them, that's how the thing got started. We've been minding our own business for five months since we exposed their ridiculous "analysis" (because, like the vast majority of people in the world, we couldn't care less what they say, since it's so insigifnicant, juvinile and pointless). So if anyone is trying to compete, they're trying to compete with us.

If you find the eXile's statements about who we are and why we do what we do (made without asking us) to be funny, then we pity your pathetically low standards, of the pee-pee-ca-ca vareity. If you find it "funny" that Mark Ames has become an employee of Russian state media and hence an instrument for the advancement of dictatorship in Russia, that's just plain sad.

Irishman said...

Dear Gobshite,
first of all I drop to your cheap level of argument for a second. Transliterations are highly subjective and my translit of MID is accurate. For example, in transliteration Russians write the Russian word for Moscow as Moskva or Maskva. Or the soft word for damn, 'pankcake' as 'blin' or 'blyn'. There's no hard or fast transliteration rules or rather no strict way of writing them in latin script and your translator, in your employ of course, is being pernickity where even ordinary Russians would not be. The grammar in govorit I concede as wrong, hands up. I'm not a native speaker. That said your own translator, if he/she is Russian, probably cant use articles in english correctly either, or perfect tenses for that matter. And if he/she is not Russian, then they studied Russian in university and are therefore professionals at the language. I am not, I learnt myself at home in Ireland with books and from Russians I knew there. So its a bit like the USA taking on Somalia, a missmatch. Oh, oops, sorry, the US got a hiding in Somalia..anyway, neither here nor there.
What's most important in this pettiness is the fact that YOU DO NOT SPEAK RUSSIAN DO YOU, LA RUSSOPHOBE? There I was thinking you were an expert on Russia! Silly me! How could you! You dont even speak Russian(which means you couldnt get a job, except teaching english for a thousand bucks a month). Therefore YOU would totally crash and burn HERE in MOSCOW. You DONT EVEN SPEAK RUSSIAN YET ARE AN EXPERT. AMAZING. I've never crashed and burned in my life. I choose to live and work here and could go home to Ireland(the wealthiest, most expensive country in the EU) anytime I want. You seem to think anyone foreign who works in Moscow is a loser. Its just not correct. There are plenty of losers, I'm just not one of them. I earn 120,000 Euros(not shitty US dollars) here per year. Its not massive but lest I be mistaken its not bad money at all. And for a Russian company. I've also got a PhD, an Irish one, not the American type you can buy over the internet -at home we had to at least ocassionaly turn up for lectures and do four years postgrad scientific research. But all this again is neither here nor there, money or education do not make a person, except in people with narrow minds from day one.

But again, all of this is irrelevant. Throughout your blog you make no real attempt to deal with peoples replies to your postings. You childishly attack them and just avoid the points made. In my first posting, you didnt deal with any of my points, most notably you cant account for your cheap, juvenile insults to Russia about whores etc. Well, why do you say such things? Why are you trying to denigrate a whole nation when your argument is against the state? And, if your point is to denigrate the whole Russian nation as a people, why do you bother pontificating and trying to tell them how to live their lives and how wrong their way of life is, when you just want to offend? Why bother? I wouldnt be telling people I hate how to sort themselves out and improve their lives to a model I think correct -its doesnt make sense. You remind me of a cuckolded husband, calling his wife a slut cos she shagged someone else and yet crying at home into his whiskey saying ''I still love her''. Bollocks. You are undoubtedly in the employ of either the United States or British governments, neither of whom have any significant(sorry, any) influence in either the Kremlin, Duma or amongst ordinary Russians anymore. The British are still furious and mortified after the ''Rock'' incident and Bush now realises that the US, a dying empire, in massive foreign debt(funny, I noticed last year Russia actually paid off a huge swathe of its Paris Club debt early..did the US do the same?) no longer has any sway over Eurasia. Sure, he can give the Georgians a few PCs and a couple of drill seargents, but who cares about Georgia? If I were you I'd be more worried about the US than Russia to be honest. Remember how the Roman empire died? It had soldiers everywhere, but produced nothing yet consumed everything. The US as a nation going the way it is now will be dead in 50 years. Make no mistake, you are witnessing the death throes of a weak, sick state. Better for you to start a blog on how you're going to take the plank out of your own eye before removing the spliter in someone elses. Also, your ranting about Sharapova borders on the hysterical. Just answer the question -WHY BOTHER? Who cares? Apart from anything else Myskina is better anyway, if she only got herself together. You actually call Sharapova a slut in one of your titles then fail to back up this statement at all. Why is she a slut? Does having your pic taken in a bikini mean someone is a slut? Really? EXPLAIN, PLEASE. I thought a slut was someone who sleeps with loads of men regularily for free and is quite easy to get into bed. Does Maria Sharapova actually do this? Such names are libellous. Again, EXPLAIN YOURSELF AND STOP AVOIDING VALID QUESTIONS LIKE YOU DO THROUGHOUT THE SITE. Maria Sharapova is a person same as anyone else entitled to a modicum of respect and not to be called such names. This is basic human courtesy which clearly you are bereft of. The only reason I asked you about your arse in my first posting and told you you needed a good shag is because you speak in such tones about Russia and Russians -you're getting back the filth you spit out. One uses a shovel to move shit after all.

Ger O'Brien

Irishman said...

And another thing! Have you ever actually set foot in Russia? You portray a country where the whole population is continuously unhappy. Its just not accurate. Russians can be dour on the outside but Ames or anyone else here who knows Russians will know they are among the kindest, warmest, softest people you could meet. They are really passionate and romantic. The metro stations are full every day of young men waiting for their girlfriends with bunches of flowers and everywhere you see hugs and smiles. The parks are full of mothers and gradnmothers with little kids wrapped up in big coats, booties and gloves playing in the snow with little sleds. The kids, whose parents speak to them intently in Russian since their first days are all well able to speak coherently even at two years old. I dont mean 'da' and 'nyet', I mean a full conversation. They are way ahead of western kids at this stage of their life. Often cloudless and sunny, Moscow is a winter wonderland, like in a postcard. The country is hard, tough and it can wear anyone down, but it is not the dour place you portray it as and though you hate to hear it the Russia is slowly getting on its feet. Wages are being paid. Pensions are going up. A large middle class is emerging. People like you want a weak, fucked up Russia, because a strong Russia is a big problem for the oil and money hungry USA. But Russia is not going to be your only problem in the future. There's India, China, Brazil and the list gets bigger every day. If I were you I'd get your kids learning Russian, Hindi or Chinese. Might be they have to emigrate there some day.

Ger O'Brien,

ps big write up you have there on H5N1. Your seem to have totally ignored the massive outbreak in Suffolk, UK. Doesnt that outbreak count or anything?

La Russophobe said...

IRISHMAN: Wethinks you doth protest too much. Way, WAY to much. Those who publish, write and contribute to this blog have logged many, many years living in Russia, which is why we know just how desperate are its straits. People like you rationalized the strength of Nazi Germany, people like you killed millions with your ignorance and craven cowardice.

Cyrill said...

Transliterations are highly subjective and my translit of MID is accurate.

Ministverstvo Innostranikh Dyel

Министерство иностранных дел

Sorry Ger, there is no "v" after the first "t" in the first word and the double "n" in the second word is misplaced.

As for your earlier comment that Russians do not care about what the West or anyone else think - that is what they tell you, a foreigner. In reality, as someone here commented already, the exact opposite has been true for centuries.

Irishman said...

Again, do you ever actually answer questions put to you? No. Your website is just a rant and a waste of time a precious badwidth. Once again you home in on triviality and dont account for yourself, including the libellous attacks on Maria Sharapova. I hope she sues. And that the FSB sort ye out. You think I protest too much -is your whole website not a protest? Like all wankers you spurt out shite and have no answer to any valid criticism or questions.
Answer and stop avoiding the questions like pussies:
(1) On what grounds/basis do you call Maria Sharapova, a person same as any one else, a slut?
(2)For what reason does your site, allegedly there for political discussion and analysis, call the Russians a nation of whores and drunks?
(3) Which government is paying for this site?
Dont bother with your usual spell checks and dodges. ANSWER THE QUESTIONS LIKE A DECENT, SENTINENT BEING WOULD.

ger o'brien

Unknown said...

Dear LR,

Why not instead of going on pages and pages of pointless debate on the use of "soft sign" you go ahead and retract the concocted "cheap Russian underage prostitutes" article? I know you don't have the guts to, so just wondering.


La Russophobe said...


A ridiculous little worm talking about courage is like Vladimir Putin talking about human rights. Too, too silly for words.

As to the linguistic debate, the answer is because (a) I'm not involved in that debate you helpless moron and (b) I find it interesting and (c) it's my blog and if the day ever comes when I even consider taking advice about its content from a failed Russophile wacko like you, I'll close it.

As to the cheapness of Russian prostitutes, if you can provide me with data (should you indeed even know the meaning of the word) from a reputable source that shows Russian prostitutes cost the same as those in the West, I'll gladly issue a correction. It doesn't make the least bit of sense, of course, since Russians learn one-tenth that of Westerners, so if Russian prostitute prices are in line with that they are ten times cheaper for Westerners than Western prostitutes. If they weren't in line with that, then most Russians couldn't afford them and they'd go bankrupt. Without such data, I'll continue to believe and report that horrific Russian poverty forces many women and girls into low-paying prostitution and even leaves them vulnerable to white slavery.

And the specific post about Russian prostitutes that appeared on this blog was based on a commercial website that offers Russian prostitutes for sale. I stand by it 100,000%.

nopsam said...

LR: (c) it's my blog and if the day ever comes when I even consider taking advice about its content from a failed Russophile wacko like you, I'll close it.

Why is it suddenly my and no longer our blog ? So you finally gave up the 'royal we' ? And have you taken into consideration that there is the posibility that this blog is shut down (or closed) by someone who doesn't fit into the categories you mentioned ? ;-)

Unknown said...

Dear LR,

I treasure your red-hot skunk defense. I especially liked the "little worm" and "helpless moron" part; very respectable in a high-road journalism kind of way.

Mentioning the website that offers Russian women for sale, the one on which you based your blog entry. It states there, and I re-read it no less than twice, that 4500 rubles is the least expensive option for the services offered at the brothel. May you please look up the dollar exchange rate for when the article was written and let us all know how you came up with the $75 figure? If you don't like using the current rate, which (thanks to robust performance of the Russian economy as well as other factors) today is much less than it was then, there are e-z to find websites where you can see one-year historical data (!) of the trend.

FX data should be much easier to find than the western whore research project you proposed that I do. Do you actually think that I have time for that? Haaa! :D


Irishman said...

Once again, its easy to see what an enormous gobshite this La Russophobe is. Spell checks, soft signs...he/she deals with everything except the points put to her. Referring to Maria Sharapova as a slut is libellous and liable to get the site shut down. I've actually printed the screen and relevant pages as evidence and have emailed a few Sharapova fansites to alert them to this -maybe they know how to contact her holding company. She makes no attempt to justify her remarks at all. Its just astounding. She also rattles on about how lucky Sharapova was to win Wimbledon -so what? In any sport, especially long tournaments, huge portions of luck are required to win. Soccer fans will know exactly what I mean. Everyone or every team has struggles, good fortune and bad days on the way to winning. But what is most amaxing is her talk about whores - unless I'm mistaken, the USA is the land of whores, porn and filth. Hugh Grant got a blow job for $50 dollars that infamous day -is that not cheap as well? Everyone, lets put an end to this - contact MID and the FSB. They may actually deal with it. Her response above, suddenly taking a u-turn and talking so sadly and seriously about the slavery of prostitution in Russia, is pathetic. There's no doubt Russia has a problem with this but there are whores, tons of them, in every country and her comments have always been to denigrate and sneer at Russian women, not help them.
Could have something to do with the fact that Sharapova and Russian women generally are very beautiful, maybe?? A jealous woman scorned etc??
Ger O'Brien

La Russophobe said...

SERGEJ: As to your first point, this blog is the work product of many people, but sometimes the response to a comment is specifically the position of the boss, as here. As to your second point, it is unintelligible and I therefore have no idea what you are saying.

ENDORPHIN: By ignoring my challenge, you prove the utter emptiness of your pathetic little "mind." I repeat it because of your wretched intelligence: If you have evidence that Russian prostitutes cost as much as Western ones, link to it. Otherwise, drop dead you pathetic idiot. 4,500 rubles is $166 for two hours or $81.50 per hour at the current exchange rate. If you think you can buy a girl like that for that price in the USA, Britain or other Western location, prove it. Your empty babbling makes me laugh.

IRISHMAN: Maria sold her body to the foreigners at Sports Illustrated for money. That makes her a slut. Your pathetic attempt to curry favor with her in the hopes of sexual favors in return is just plain gross. Plus which, we've only called her a slut once, the vast majority of our posts are about her PATHETIC tennis skills. Your duplicity and ignorance know no bounds.

Irishman said...

Did I read that right? Having your pic taken for Sports Illustrated in a bikini makes one a slut - are you joking me? Are you actually taking the piss? What kind of disgusting, Bible Belt, Redneck Right-Wing nut are you? And I'm trying to curry sexual favours? With Maria Sharapova????!!! You are actually MAD. I mean unwell in the head! What you wrote is libellous, especially in the no industry except legal industry USA.
You're a pathetic, ill-informed jealous poisonous twat. If you called someone close to me a slut I'd break your bloody nose. I hope Sharapova's lawyers take you to the cleaners. You have no right whatsoever to call anyone such names in public.


Unknown said...

Dear LR,

Following your "logic", does it also mean that I can get five minutes of her time for just under $7?!? You mean they actually charge the same way that long-distance companies do? Whoa! No way am I leaving Russia!


La Russophobe said...

IRISHMAN: Sorry if my morality offends you, but nobody is forcing yo to read it. My morality is shared by millions, and your attempt to label it "mad" and send me off to a psychiatric prison for believing it is the classic move of a neo-Soviet thug. Because of punks like you, Russia is in the drastic condition if near extinction. Keep up your cheerleading, and it will soon be just a memory. Being a fan of the eXile, we're not suprised you favor young Russian women selling their bodies to foreigners.


Irishman said...

Once again your inability to understand english simply staggers me. You consider posing in a magazine in a swimsuit ''selling your body''. Is that correct? It seems so. Let me ask you something, would anyone pay you to pose in a magazine in swimwear? In all probability, no. Posing like that does not make one a slut. It doesnt at all and you know it. You are unable and unwilling to justify your use of such names and you once again avoid the question totally. But like I said earlier the courts may have a different view of what you said. You may be shut down and and have to pay huge compensation and costs. I dont have an english dictionary handy but I am quite sure that it doesnt define a slut as someone who poses in a swimsuit for a magazine. You confuse morality with crazed misguided righteousness - there's a huge difference. What you have here is rabid, frequently inaccurate, libellous drivel. Hilariously you actually derive from my ''mad'' staement about you that I'd like to send you Soviet-style to an asylum - its just ridiculous. Throughout the website you simply avoid any valid criticism or questioning by attacking spelling and other triviality and getting into pointless journalist squabbles. Reading this excrement its easy to see why mere mortals like me despise, distrust and simply laugh at journalists. In any other job performances like yours would get one the sack(fired, in American rubbish english)but being a journalist you can produce absolute shit day after day and stay in a job. Amazing. As for your comment about not being forced to read it -the fact is this libel is out there and people are reading it. But they wont be after litigation I'm sure. Or hopefully after the FSB find the office.


nopsam said...

La Russophobe wrote...

SERGEJ: As to your second point, it is unintelligible and I therefore have no idea what you are saying.

As other commenters have pointed out very precisely, most of your blog is abusive, offending and insulting. Not everything is protected by the 'right of free speech' you are hiding behind. You have already crossed a few lines which people might not feel like tolerating any longer and might want to take appropriate action.

So your blog might very well be shut down by someone else (but you) and you shouldn't be too surprised when this happens.

I am not buying that 'there are many people working on this blog'. It's most probable that it is only you, simply because it is very difficult to find even two people being similarly disturbed as you are.

Irishman said...

Well said Sergei. The site is hopelessly offensive, abusive, unbalanced and most certaianly much of the commentary is not covered by freedom of speech. I just read a piece here about Russia's 'humiliation' at a rocket crash last year drung the G-8 summit. What is amazing is that the piece totaly ignores very recent American shuttle disasters. Be honest with yourself -would you feel safer going into space on the space shuttle with the cost-cutting contractor Americans or with the Russians who havent had a fatal disaster in space for years? The answer is obvious. But such duplicity and nonsense is rife throughout the site. It actually does damage to Russia's liberal movement, not help it I daresay.

nopsam said...


this blog is driven by the insane idea that quantity is convincing, not quality. I would bet that the only reason for this blog is the fact that any Internet based forum would instantly ban this blogger for flooding. Also the entire idea about blogs / blogging is completely misunderstood by this blogger. A fact the provider of the space occupied by this blog will soon recognise and react to appropriately. It's simply a matter of time.

La Russophobe said...

SERGEJ: You are driven by the insane idea that your own view of "quality" means everything and the votes of thousands of others means nothing. In other words, you're a crazed meglomaniac. If you think you can create a better Russia blog, do it. Otherwise, your comments just make you look like the bitter, jealous litle dweeb that, in fact, you are.

nopsam said...


Ooops, I've touched that nerve again :-) LR is returning to the usual insults and attacks again :-)

Некультурность ;-)

Where is that 'poll' you refer to ? Where are the 'thousands' of people yelling 'This is the best blog in blogosphere' ? You are mistaking something, there aren't 'thousands of people coming here' to salute you and bow to your brightness. People come to see if it is really true that there is a crazy person named 'La Russophobe' and that her blog is really as insane as everybody says :-)

Everybody would be able to do a better job when the objective is to create a 'Russia blog'. When stupidity is the objective then, dear LR, you really rank #1 in the 'All Time Hall of Fame' :-)

As I do not tend to take myself for being as 'important' as you take yourself, I happily grant you your fame and am certainly neither bitter nor jealous. ;-) Go for it, you truely deserve the laughter and the mockery. Enjoy it as long as it lasts. ;-)

Irishman said...

Dear Sergei,
what you said is absolutely true. She is getting a lot of hits because the site is notorious for studipidity, innaccuracy and duplicity. Back home in Ireland there's always a fool that everyone knows in their village or area and people speak to them just to hear them talking out through their arse. Its the height of entertainment! La Russophobe is the same. Its just a fascination with how absolutely idiotic someone can be. We are just laughing at her. And coming back for more laughs. She thinks its interested fans coming to worship at her temple of wisdom! Temple of bullshit more like! Once again she totally ignores all the points I made and refuses to properly justify calling Masha Sharapova a slut. Or make comment on how she can hammer the Russians for an unmanned rocket crash whilst totally ignoring US space shuttles falling out of the sky. What's really funny is that she thinks journalists like Yulia Latynina are her 'allies'. Reading this crap there isnt a hope someone like Latynina would be associated with or support this site. This is simply a hate blog filled with speculation, mistruth, outright lies and hot air. Worse of all though libellous stuff. But like all fools losing an argument she simply resorts to name calling. How utterly pathetic. She isnt answering so much anymore Sergei -its cos she's cornered and has no way out. And that after a minimum of criticism. Imagine going through the site forensically -how much lies and libel would we find I wonder.
La Russophobe -to use one of your shitty phrases -in a word, you're pathetic and a handicap to Russian liberals, not a help.
Actually that was much more than one word. But at least it gives you something to attack, seeing as you cant attack either me or Sergei's substantive points.