La Russophobe has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 6 seconds. If not, visit
and update your bookmarks.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Russia in Three Words: Paradise on Earth!!!

Our Hero!

We'll give you three words for Russia: Paradise on Earth! Who can doubt that it is so? If you are unlucky enough not to have been born a Slavic Russian, do not despair! There is always immigration, and Russia's warm love for all the peoples of the world will make you feel welcome!

Just a few of the highlights from the Russian news yesterday to make you feel even more proud of your Russianess:
  • 10 million babies were born yesterday, and not one single person passed away!
  • Russians now live an average of 244 years, by far the longest adult lifespan of any country
  • Every fourth person in Russia is a billionaire. The other three are glad to donate from their vast fortunes to help these impoverished souls live more comfortable lives.
  • Vladimir Putin was severely beaten in his Siberian cell block last night. President Khodorkovsky vows to get to the bottom of it immediately.
  • A jolly game of volleyball was played by the members of Russia's fourth manned flight to Mars, using the recently perfected gravity machine
  • Russia won every single available medal at the Sochi Olmpiad (of course)
  • Maria Sharapova is selling her American properties and moving back to Russia
April Fool!!!!

No comments: