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Friday, October 27, 2006

Annals of Russian Failure: The Sochi Olympics Sham

Hey Dmitry Chernyshenk, leader of Russia's bid to make Sochi the home of the 2014 Winter Olympics, what's the best reason you can think of for Sochi to be selected?

"It's one of the safest cities in Russia and all of the world," he said in an interview on the sidelines of the World Forum of Sport. "Not only because it's the summer residence of our president, but because it's also the home of the training center for all our emergency services. "It's a very special place that has recently hosted more than 27 international events. "The whole of Russia is behind this bid, including President Putin. He's the best promoter of our bid because he spends one-third of his time there. It's like Russia's second capital."

So let me see if I've got that straight. Nothing about mountains or snow or anything, and I mean you're not saying any of those 27 events were in skiiing or anything (for all we know it was body surfing), in fact Sochi is famous among Russians as a beach resort, and anyway the word "international" to Russians usually means Russia, Armenia and Belarus, but you think the world should flock there because it has lots of KGB agents and "President" Putin, who is slaying Russian democracy as if it were a dragon and he were St. Georgi, loves it. Uh, OK.

Now, about this safety thing, any truth to the rumor that Russia has the fifth-highest murder rate on the planet while true international tourism is virtually non-existent and airplanes are dropping out of the sky at an alarming rate?

No comment.

OK. Is it at all possible that Chechen terrorists, just a stone's throw away in Ingushetia, would take the Olympics as a red flag for a massive assault that would make the Munich games look like a walk in the park?

No comment.

Are you even remotely serious about hosting the games, or is this just a cheap publicity stunt like they used to run in the USSR, for domestic consumption only?

No comment.

Is it true that in the last week "President" Putin launched slurs against Italians and Spaniards and joked jovially about rape? Do you think that will endear Russia to the hearts and minds of Olympics voters?

"You're under arrest."

Let's say, just for the sake of argument, that Russia was awarded the games and some of the visiting athletes tried to carry naked photos of "President" Putin out of the country. What would you do to them?

"Didn't you hear me, I said you're under arrest."

Well, what if they joined forces to commemorate Anna Politkovskaya or express solidarity with oppressed Georgians?

*Sound of a gun being loaded*

8 comments:

17 ugly raccoons said...

1. Are you always speaking with yourself?

2. Do you really think you are important enough or done something harmful enough to arrest you or even notice you by Chernyshenko?

3. These were 'naked photos' or 'naked pictures' and can you understand the difference?

4. Do you think Bush did think about flying monkeys last week?

And so on.

17 ugly raccoons said...

http://xeno.sova-center.ru/45A29F2/824A5C3.html

You should re-post it! (because, imho, you don't know some obvious things these tells me it's a fake)

La Russophobe said...

UGLY: It's called satire you neanderthal. You really are starting up with your drinking too early in the day, very bad for the liver.

Do you think that link somehow shows how fit a location for a winter olympics sochi is? Or is that the liquor talking?

17 ugly raccoons said...

It's called satire you neanderthal.

I wonder by whom it may be called satire. By penny, eh? Well, that's not much of a sign of quality, I doubt she can read at all, only write.

Do you think that link somehow shows how fit a location for a winter olympics sochi is?

Nope, I just provided you valuable piece of information from your beloved SOVA about evil Russians stalking innocent Georgians. And I've done it with a straight face. You should repost it, and whole world will hold its breath and open its eyes, full deep of Russian atrocities will be revealed... You know, you even may get Darw... err, Nobel prize. I hope you'll send some money to Yusupova then, will you? I think $20 will be enough, don't overextend yourself, your well-being is too important for the late great planet Earth terrorized by extincting Russian hordes.

Well, *that* was a satire you australopitec.

You really are starting up with your drinking too early in the day

You ever heard Earth is round? It's evening here, miss bliss'. And I am not drinking anything stronger than beer... well, six years already. So save your advices for your compatriots, if you have any.

La Russophobe said...

Well, this post is about Sochi. So if you want to post something here, it should be about Sochi. See how it works? This is not your personal blog, you know.

As for your submission, it's been considered and rejected. You're welcome to try again if you like, though, as are all LR's readers.

Fellow Peacekeeper said...

LR, I think you are too hard on 17UR. Not many blogs can boast a dedicated personalized troll like 17UR, I mean the guy is so boorish and stupid that he reproves the points made.

Its almost like hes a sock puppet. :) Almost.

17 ugly raccoons said...

LR:Well, this post is about Sochi. So if you want to post something here, it should be about Sochi.

We in Russia's blogosphere are used to give info in any *current* post, just to not lose time. So if it is not how it works here, a pity.

But why you rejected post from your dearheart SOVA? Are you considering them liars? Tsk, tsk.

FP: 'yes, yes, I am so low and you are so great'(c) Care to add something on topic or you are too busy guarding your rear?

La Russophobe said...

PEACEKEEPER: Thanks for the comment! That's quite true, but assuming my goal is to keep him around for that reason then, being as he's such a psychopath, logically what I should do is the opposite of what would keep a normal person around, so that's what I'm trying. ;)