La Russophobe has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 6 seconds. If not, visit
and update your bookmarks.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

The Sunday Funnies Part I: The Beauty of Russian Female Tennis Players

Sure they lose all the time to much lower ranked players, but what does that matter when everyone in the world knows that Russia's female tennis players are by far the most beautiful on the tour. Why, just look at . . .

. . . world #5 Svetlana Kuznetsova (did somebody
say Medusa?) and . . .

. . . world #9 Nadia Petrova* (those lips, those eyes . . could she
have been the model for that witch on Bugs Bunny?).

And then there's the true queen of Russian beauty and
feminity, Maria Sharapova . . . er . . . well, that's what they say.
Perhaps a few too many steroids, dear?

What man (or woman) could ask for more ravishing feminity than this? Truly, Russia is not a country but rather a paradise . . .

*NOTE: Petrova received the ultimate "diss" at Wimbledon this year, getting a seed two spots below her world ranking, and then as if to prove how lame she is got eliminated in the fourth round. At least, however, her ejection came at the hands of a higher-ranked player in three sets. Kuznetsova was booted in pathetic straight sets by a player not ranked or seeded in the world's top 20. On the other hand, Kuznetsova at least managed to get as far as the fourth round before being booted, so it's actually hard to say which of the two is more pathetic on the court. Thankfully, they've got their good looks to fall back on!


Kirill said...

Apparently, the American public would like to disagree with you. (Otherwise, why would Sports Illustrated be obsessed with Maria Sharapova, going as far as devoting multiple pages to her in a recent swimsuit edition)

La Russophobe said...

The American public thinks ballet is stupid and Russia is a barbaric uncivilized nation no different from Africa (those that even know where it's located). They think Dostoevsky and Tolstoy are boring and they've never heard of Pushkin.

So you agree with them, right?

Kirill, do you think AT ALL before you babble your gibberish? Or is that that you're simply drunk?

By the way, this post IS A JOKE YOU RIDICULOUS FOOL. Perhaps you're English is not quite strong enough to grasp the term "funnies." It's a satire meant to expose the raw arrogance with which Russophiles talk about the physical appearance of their women. Meanwhile, we notice that conspicuous by its absence is any attempt to defend the appearance of Kuznetsova or Petrova.

der unbequeme said...

Maria Kirilenko is now leading over Ana Ivanovic in the beauty poll at

What a blow for La Russophobe's lies!

Kirill said...

A recent survey that displayed a massively favorable rating for Russia in America wants to disagree with your first paragraph. I'm also happy to see the immense faith you place in the American public. I'm sure you will agree that the U.S. has an amazingly bright future, considering most of its people are incapable of using a map.

It actually occurred to me that this entire blog is meant to be taken as a joke, but then I realized that just maybe, there could be one person on this planet who thinks in such a "unique" way as you do.

La Russophobe said...


"A recent survey"? Would it be too much trouble for you to link to your claimed information? You haven't added a single shred of value to this blog with any comment you've made. Are you really arrogant enough to think your words alone have value? Sniffing glue, are you?

La Russophobe said...

der unbequeme:

Lies? You've just admitted we are right! Thanks for admitting all three women in the post are ugly by trying to change the subject to a fourth.

Lies? Meanwhile, you seem to have overlooked the fact that THIS POST IS A JOKE you moron. Look up the word "funnies" sometime you idiot.

Do you really think an online poll can't be affected by the same NASHI hackers who attacked Estonia? Your claims are silly, classic idiotic russophelia.

La Russophobe said...

der unbequeme:

The results of the poll as of Sunday night are Kirilenko 47% and Ivanovic 53%. Not surprising that you, a liar, would not provide the accurate information, or indeed even the accurate link for the page in question, which is:,,11014-2007310072,00.html

We accept your apology and thank you for further evidence that we were right (even though we were joking, which is pretty impressive).

Another classic Russophile implosion.

Kirill said...

Have you ever considered that perhaps der unbequeme was giving you results that were current at the time? I thought you were a supremely gifted intellectual higher being, incapable of doing wrong. Yet here you disrespect one of your readers, without considering that perhaps it is you that is wrong?

The poll I referred to was discussed on relatively recently. I did not link to it, as I spent some time trying to find it, but I did not succeed and didn't feel like expending any additional energy. Since I wasn't writing a peer-reviewed paper, I assumed that you would give me the benefit of the doubt, which is a courtesy I extend to you. (I do not call you out on something that I feel is incorrect which lacks support, unless I know for sure that you are wrong).

La Russophobe said...


You are an utterly dishonest ape. Our comment specifically says that we are criticizing him for failing to update his information, which is exactly the same thing as lying, and for failing to provide the link by which his information could be verified by readers, more rank dishonesty.

You simply can't tell the truth or be fair, can you? It's really very ironic. You attack this blog for being to one-sided and hard on Russia, yet you do EXACTLY the same thing to us. Your remarks are TOTALLY one-sided in attacking us and defending Russia, not blended 50-50 agreement and disagreement as you seem to expect from us.

You're one of the biggest Russophile hypocrites we've ever seen, out of control in your own delusional dream world. We pity you.

Kirill said...

I apologize that comrade der unbequeme could not fulfill his sacred duty and provide updates every 5 minutes on the poll results.